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Carer Stories

Carer Stories

Carer Stories

Read the stories below to learn more about each carer’s journey.

Tania's Story

Not long after their mother died, Tania and her sister Nadia moved into the family home to care for their father. One morning he woke up unable to walk and was rushed to hospital. What followed was a steep learning curve; in navigating the hospital system, the sisters became advocates not only for their father, but also for other carers struggling in a complex system.

Sandra’s Story

Over several years, Sandra saw her husband go through many challenges with his health, work, and lack of social connection. His ongoing anxiety and depression, linked to long-standing chronic pain and a shoulder injury, left him with an addiction to painkillers, and led to a psychotic episode.

Alison’s Story

When Alison’s daughter Violet* was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), it came as a relief. After years of feeling unheard, Alison was finally able to advocate for Violet and access the support they both needed.

Dalphne’s Story

Cultural differences in discussing mental illness made it difficult for Dalphne to accept her adult daughter’s borderline personality disorder (BPD) diagnosis. Fifteen years on, Dalphne joined Carers Victoria’s Writing with Purpose program, in the hope that sharing her story would help to break down stigma and encourage others to feel safe talking about mental illness.

Penny ’s Story

Penny shares her journey caring for adult son Marcus, including the challenges she’s faced finding and accessing the right support, her decision to give up paid employment, and what a typical day as a carer looks like for her.

Adua’s Story

As Adua approaches her mother Antonietta’s 87th birthday, she reflects on her caring role and the emotional strength and support she receives from her mother in turn.

Mary's Story

63-year-old Mary is the quintessential caregiver. Having worked in aged, disability and palliative care for ten years in a number of settings including hostels, nursing homes, dementia wards and hospitals, Mary understands wholly the complexities and challenges of caring.

Jasmina's Story

60-year-old, St Albans local, Jasmina is the quintessential communicator. Working as a translator, her days are filled with communicating with Bosnians while they need assistance unpacking government forms and day-to-day administration challenges.

Michelle's Story

For seven years, Michelle was a full-time carer to her beautiful mum, Greta, who had been involved in a horrific car accident in 2014, leaving her a quadriplegic.

Lisbeth’s Story

Now in her seventies, Lisbeth looks back on a life of unexpected – but fulfilling – twists and turns. “I have two adult sons who have fulfilling lives despite their disabilities,” she says. “Our daughter has married and presented us with two beautiful grandchildren. As a teenager, I didn’t foresee any of these events.”

Christina’s Story

In this touching and powerful poem, Christina brings the hope and heartbreak of being a carer to life.

Emma's Story

Emma’s earliest memories of her son Owen bring a sense of helplessness as she recalls endless days and nights in the Neonatal ICU. “It was all in Owen’s and the doctor’s hands,” Emma explains. “But Owen kept fighting and proving he was strong. That’s when we started calling him ‘Mighty Owen’.”

Anthea's Story

“I am passionate about getting the word out to others who do not realise they are a carer, in the hope that they won’t have to struggle alone as much as I did in the early days,” Anthea says. “There is an unspoken understanding between unpaid carers.”

Joanne's Story

Joanne is a dual carer who supports her son as well as her spouse. Until she really needed help, she didn’t know how many services were available for carers. “The grief counselling through Carers Victoria is unbelievable,” she says, “and I still seek ongoing psychological support to this day.”

Liam’s Story

Liam cares for his brother Owen, who was born at 32 weeks and suffered brain damage that resulted in a multitude of disabilities. “I do what I can to help,” Liam says. “I play Lego with Owen, read stories with him, and help him get dressed and things. But I don’t feel like it’s a job because he is my brother, and I would do anything for him.”

Mel’s Story

Despite the challenges of caring for her three children, Mel has found numerous ways to cope. “I used to write scripts of all the things I needed to speak about. When you have to explain your situation to someone you will get emotional, but having that little script allowed me to take away the pressure. It helped me to focus, to stay on topic and remember everything that I needed to get out of the situation.”

Sam's Story

Sam’s caring responsibilities for his father Neal range from bringing him food to checking his blood pressure and vitals, to sometimes even accompanying him to hospital.

Naomi's Story

Naomi first identified as being a carer after she learned about Carers Victoria and the support for carers that is available. “I’ve always been just mum and I still am,” she says. “But I’m a carer also. It’s a label, but it’s a positive label. And it’s a supportive label. Being a carer is something that I’m proud of, as well as being a mum, because anyone can be a mum but not everyone can be a carer.”

Kristine's Story

Soon after becoming a carer for her partner Neal, Kristine found herself becoming consumed with the role. “I love him. I want the best for him. I wanted him to get the most out of the supports he could get,” she says. “So I made that my mission and that was my full-time job.”

Joanne, Zalie and Flynn’s Story

When Joanne’s twins Zalie and Flynn were diagnosed with autism at two years old, her world was turned upside down. “The early years were very hard,” Joanne says. “I had to do a lot of research myself, sourcing information from overseas. Many people in Australia did not even know what the word Autism meant. It was extremely overwhelming.”

Marion’s Story

When Marion’s husband Fred was diagnosed with dementia, she gave up full time employment and her role changed completely. “Due to a lack of local assistance, I started a carers support group. I wrote to the Health Minister, contacted the Aged Care Commissioner and Aged Care Complaints. Yes, I was now also an advocate for the person I cared for.”

A Hundred Escapes

In this creative piece, Jackie brings to life the hundreds of escapes – and resulting searches – that have become an ever-present part of her carer journey.

Lee’s Story

As a carer for thirty years, Lee shares the journey that led to her finally asking for help. “In the dead of night, while everyone else was sleeping my mind would relax a little, a weight would settle, and I would yearn for a helping hand.”

Navida’s Story

Navida’s deep love for her mother “Ammi” only grew when their roles interchanged, and Navida became both a daughter and carer. “When I fed her with my bare hands, she would have a cheeky smile and then attempt to bite my fingers softly as a playful gesture.”

Andrea’s Story

After years caring for her husband, and being a mother and carer for seven children, Andrea has been able to set up enough supports to allow her to step back a little from her caring role. “I had to find another me, but I was nowhere to be found. What I did find is a fantastic team of people to fill my role. The saying ‘it takes a village’ is quite fitting in this situation.”

Myra’s Story

When Myra’s role grew from being a new mother to also becoming the mother of a child with a disability, her understanding of self-care changed as well. “My son was the catalyst for me to experience unconditional love – not only for him but eventually for myself too. Self-care has become a daily practice, a tending to, and I am continually learning how to meet my needs as they change and evolve.”

Debby’s Story

As a carer for twenty-five years, Debby shares her story about the long-term impacts that caring can have on long-term financial security. “I’m acutely aware that at fifty years of age I only have another seventeen years before retirement… I worry about our future and what it holds.”

Julie's Story

As the primary carer, Julie has a lot to juggle. Along with her job, and parenting her other kids, Julie leads Darcy’s daily routine and assists with his learning. ‘When he achieves something, and we’ve put that extra work in, I love that. It makes me feel like I'm on top of a mountain!”

Christine's Story

“I want to tell carers that you can achieve whatever you want to achieve. Don’t allow being a carer to stop you from fulfilling your dreams. Somehow or other you can fit it in,” says Christine.

Laura and Emma’s Story

I am originally from Chile so I have no family around. My only support was my mother’s group but no one in the group could relate to any of my problems since they all had typical children with the usual problems. I joined support groups from around the world. All the answers came from the families of other kids around the world.

Merrin's Story

Merrin starts her day at 5:30am. She cleans the house, vacuums and hangs washing. At 7am, she helps her mum with medication, and gets her boys ready for school. Then she goes to work. She’s home from work at 7pm and is straight back into it. This is a good day, when everything runs smoothly.

Wendy’s Story

The support I have had from my daughter, grandson, and the rest of the family has been amazing and essential for my wellbeing. I am learning how to accept help, and, more importantly, to ask for help. For now, I wake up each morning, and repeat to myself, “No expectations…acceptance”.

Kristen’s Story

Kristen describes her role as a carer in her Grandma Dossy’s life as precious. ‘I enjoy spending time with her. We go out for lunch or to a cafe and order her favourite coffee. She always says, “I like my coffee hot and strong, just like I like my men”. It still makes me laugh.